Savoring the Smell

My nephew's wife wrote a melancholy blog post this morning that would, I suppose, make any mother teary-eyed (Savoring the Smell of Baby For This Too Shall Pass). Those quiet moments with your baby. Rocking, nursing, knowing that it's cold outside but feeling safe inside. You're so close to that little one.

Leigh Ann is smitten by her baby and joyfully dotes on him. Mark, Leigh Ann, and baby Sam have recently returned to their home in Tennessee after spending time with my sister and her family for the holidays, which included a celebration of the baby's first birthday.

Funny. Before reading her post I'd just come downstairs from savoring the smell of my son's room. Actually, I hadn't thought of it as savoring at the time, but I guess that it was. Leigh Ann is right. The baby room smell and feeling did pass. My 22-year-old son left this morning after spending his Christmas break with us, home from graduate school, a 12-hours drive away. His room had been a mess for two weeks. But when I opened the door and stepped into it this morning I was met with the sight of clean floors and tabletops. The only mess was his rumpled bed . . . that I can't stand to launder just yet. It holds the impression and the smell of him. I want to hold on to the feeling of his being here just a little bit longer, to savor it.

I tried not to cry or over-do my goodbyes this morning because, after all, isn't this why we raise them so carefully? So that when they go, we feel they are ready and able. We let them go because this too shall pass and there will be a next chapter and a next.

We took his crib out of the attic for our first grandchild to use this Christmas.We've left it up in the guest room, formerly my daughter's room, and look forward to a visit again soon.

Savor on, Leigh Ann. It's the wonderful purview of motherhood. Hold your children close in body and hold on to the memories. The rooms will change, but you can close your eyes and take those memories out to savor again as needed.